… Of Love and Respect

orfeu negro

What do men really want? What do women really want? For everyone who is in, has ever been, or hopes to be in a relationship, these two questions have remained timeless. Many men would readily argue that understanding a woman, is an arduous task, which can never be fully grasped even in the volume of books. The female folk would also raise a similar line of argument, claiming that men are never satisfied, as such all a woman can do is to only try and hope that her best is good enough.

In answering this timeless question, it will perhaps be of great help consulting the timeless holy book. Ephesians 5:22 & 25 says it all: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;…” That’s all! Well, as simple and over-used as that verse may sound, it is the singular answer to the question of what the man/woman wants from the other. Simply said, every man wants respect, while every woman wants love. Love and respect are the two core ingredients for every relationship. The wiring of a woman as a more sensitive, receptive and emotional being means that, the presence/absence of love is a key determinant of how well she flourishes. As much as the current age and time has sold to us the picture of an independent woman who can never be broken, truth is that it’s all a thin layer of ice with lots of water(emotions under it. It is the duty of the man to care for, love and nurture his woman to flourish.

The respect needs of a man is not an entitlement, but more of a benefit. Too often, many men are caught in the web of demanding for respect. Truth however is that the respect a man deserves is not statutory, but more of an earning. Every man should work on loving their women and respect will be earned. At the point when a man demands respect from his woman, then something is amiss. Either he’s not doing enough to earn it or the woman has chosen not to give it. We must however remember that love in this regard is not about professed love, but acted love. God loved the world and gave… Do you love your woman? Give! Give your time, resources, money, materials, etc, to see her blossom, fulfilling the God given mandate for you. As for respect, I believe we’ll all agree that respect is not a function of kneeling to serve him his meals, but a function of the state of your heart towards him. Do you respect him from your heart? Praying for him, encouraging him, supporting him and being to him the missing rib that you are,  or with you he still looks for another rib. Only then will you earn multiples of his love to you.

Love and Respect that’s all that is demanded. As we continue in this new week and the new month of July, men love your wives, wives respect your husbands. God give us all the grace to achieve this in Jesus name. Amen

ADEBIYI O.A

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