Opposites attract is an age-long mantra we’ve grown up to learn about. Perhaps culled from the Laws of Magnetism, where it is believed that it’s the opposing ends(poles) of a magnet that makes them draw near, while the similar ends (poles) pull away at the closest minimum. Based on this belief, many supposed relationship experts have made it a point of duty to relate it to human relationships. We are told that it is better for a hot-tempered woman to be married to a mild-tempered man, and vice-versa. Others believe that an excessively social/extravagant individual is perhaps better off when matched with a more thrifty person, a introvert with an extrovert etc. Having studied this trend and perhaps seen the outcomes of some this opposites’ attraction, I’ve come to the conclusion that “Opposites attract to attack”
Many times, a whole lot of people are cut up in the web of praying to meet that man/woman that would cancel out our faults, exhibiting strengths in weak aspects of us, while we hope to do same for them. More often than not however, what obtains is that this is just an excuse not to work on our weaknesses as well as a desire of what is not deserved. Cases exist where someone, having lived recklessly growing up, prays to meet a partner who out of discipline was able to stay virtuous and pious. The argument given in this case, is that the other person’s self-discipline may perhaps rub-off.
The obvious mistake many people make is that the choice of a partner lies more on the intangibles, than the things which can be seen. Scripture reminds us that the things which are seen are temporal, while the things which cannot be seen are eternal. The very first questions everyone desirous of a godly relationship must answer in their quest is; Who am I? What value systems do I live by? What regard do I have for God and for my fellow human? What goals do I seek to achieve in life (Career, Ministry, Personal) and What kind of legacy do I want to live by? It is only after this questions are answered that one can begin the search for; The kind of people that share similar values (Love for God, respect for fellow man, regards to timeliness, attitude/dispositions to life, perspectives, preferences – imagine a guy whose whole playlist is DonMoen getting married to a lady whose playlist is KanyeWest, perhaps their new playlist will be “DonWest”). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being judgemental here and I’m not of the opinion that people cannot change, but life has proven that the most difficult things to change about a person is the *value system*. Just like the ice-berg, human values are deeply rooted requiring years of work to achieve any meaningful change.
One of the most quoted scriptures apart from John 3:16, is perhaps Prov. 18:22 (Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD). This scripture is however not used alone, but witt Prov 31:10 (A virtuous woman, who can find? For her price is far above rubies.). Together, this scriptures are used to teach many a lady, to strive for that character. Sometimes one wonders if many guys ever read Prov 20:6 (Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?). How good and perfect would this world have been if everyone took this verses as their mantra; ladies striving to be the virtuous woman, only to be found by a *Faithful* man, who is ready to pay above the price of rubies. For the men, how man men are indeed faithful – to God and to their fellow men. Striving to develop this character foundations remain the most basic springboards for every other positive features of our personality and perhaps the source of attraction with our kind, with whom there won’t be an attack.
Please note, this is not an expert opinion, but a thought that is being shared from years of observation.